Post by Mastercougar on Mar 4, 2011 20:31:40 GMT -5
Hi, guys.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over the future of Reporterz. Months and months, in fact. You may have noticed I’ve stopped updating, which has been part of this process for me. I reached a point where I couldn’t move forward until I came to a conclusion.
Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to:
Reporterz is not going to continue.
I want to be honest about that with you, rather than letting the comic vanish into the ether as so many do. I want you to know what’s been going on. It would be callous of me to leave my readers and longtime friends in the dark.
I know I’ve made a lot of posts and threads in the past about how I’ve come to “a new realization of my devotion to the comic,” a “new burst of self-confidence” or whatnot, etcetera. And those were all real and from the heart. I wasn’t faking. Those were real insights about myself that I came to over the last year or so, and I was glad to share them with you.
The thing is, though, the real problem wasn’t simply a lack of self-confidence. The truth is, on some level, the comic wasn’t working.
Don’t get me wrong. I was doing good work, and telling the story well. But the simple truth is that a sprite comic wasn’t the best way to tell it. I’m a word man, first and foremost, not an artist or spriter. more and more, it became clear to me that my words were bursting at the seams of the panels, trying to get out. Meanwhile, my sprites were passable, but they didn’t give my characters the dignity they deserved. They didn’t match up with who I really imagined them to be.
You see, year after year, I revised my plans for Reporterz, each time, saying: “This is so much better!” And it was true. Each was a vast improvement over the last, leading to realer characters, more gripping narrative, and more intense and brilliant plot. A truer, better story in every way. Eventually, though, I reached the point where Reporterz was more than a silly Pokémon comic I was doing for the hell of it. It became a grand dream, a vision full of ideas and inventions and flavored with my own soul.
And that’s fine. It’s great to have visions and ambitions. They make up who I am. The problem is, what do you do to make your story’s future high, exquisite art when its past is a silly ramble composed by a middle-schooler? I had some really lovely plans for the future, but in a sense they didn’t fit with the silliness already established. I began to feel like the past was constantly chasing me, that every time I laid down a brick of story it dissolved into mush the next time I looked at it. It was maddening.
And I hated my work, at least in part and I hated that I hated my work, and I hated that I didn’t know what to do about it. And I didn’t know what to do about it because I didn’t see that it wasn’t working.
And the future I wanted to accomplish was so far away, and so huge. I still feel like I barely got off the ground with Reporterz, and in a sense that’s true, because there was simply so much that had to happen before it became what I wanted it to be, before it became more than a kid’s scribbling. It began to feel like a nightmare: how long would I be working on this project? It began to feel like I was running out of time.
And the need, the obsession with working on it was beginning to eat up my life. I pulled back, thankfully, when I realized that I was freaking out unhealthily. But I still didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to be working on those final pages, so that I could wrap up the lives of my characters and move on with my own. And there were so many stories I still wanted to tell, other, completely different stories, and I began to fear that they would never be told.
I don’t know if any of that makes sense to you, but I realized, gradually, that what those ideas, what those brilliant, awesome, wonderful ideas needed was a different stage to take place. Preferably a written one. I don’t mean to self-deprecate, but as I said, I’m not a comic-maker. Not in the way I wanted to be. And I was tired of the nagging worries of sprite-comics, the fears about copyright and Comic Genesis and being mocked by other webcomic artists. (Heed my advice: Trying to make a sprite comic into High Art is an insane proposition. I wouldn’t recommend it.) I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to concentrate on the beautiful purity of words alone, what I really know how to do, and leave all that behind.
Reporterz will influence my future writings in some fashion. That I can guarantee. It might even be reborn, in a way, because there’s so much I really like about it, especially the stuff I had planned. But I need to take some time to figure out how that might happen. But as Reporterz, as this comic strip, it is definitely over. And many of my ideas will be lost, and much will be gone forever.
And it’s a hellish thing to tell you that the comic is over. I don’t want to tell you guys that. I never wanted to be “that guy,” who says, “I don’t want to work on the thing I used to love.” I lamented Crash and Bass’s aborted epic future. I mourned the Cataclysm movies that Dave Anez never made. And I swore I wouldn’t be like them.
So this was a hard thing for me to come to. I spent about three months, simply trying to decide: continue or not? I weighed the pros and cons. I knew I was on the cusp of some revelation, but I was terrified to find out the answer. Finally, one day, ending the comic made sense to me. And that knowledge hit me like a ton of bricks, but slowly, I came to the conclusion I had to accept it. The hard part was figuring out how I was going to tell you guys.
So, here we are. Ultimately, I had to give myself the freedom to change, and I hope you can forgive me for that. But I know, without a doubt, it’s been the right choice. I’m freed from so many things, most especially constant frustration with my 13-year old self. I’m better off without that random anger and constant worry. And I’m still grieving, for the end of a relationship that lasted six years and brought me a lot of joy. There’s so much that’s never going to be told, and I’ll always miss that. But I think that this is what’s best for both Author and characters. I’d say we’re parting on good terms. And I’m more at peace with myself than I’ve been for a long time.
What’s next? Well, there’s no way in heaven or earth that I’ll stop writing. But it may take me a long time to return to this particular story. I have to be able to do these ideas and these characters justice, and right now I don’t know what form that’ll take. While I think prose is absolutely the best medium for me to turn to right now, much of Reporterz was wrapped up in the sprite comic format. I need to take some time—a long time, possibly—to figure out what might stay, what might go. I need time to process how I feel, here at the end of all things.
So, right now, I’m working on a handful of other projects. I’ve started writing a novel set in the Pokémon world, based on an idea I’ve wanted to write for a long, long time, and I intend to see that to fruition. Sooner or later I’ll start posting it on Serebii; watch this space for a link. I’ve also got a blog now, which has not really gotten off the ground yet, but may come in useful sooner or later. At the very least, I can make it a hub for my new projects, since I no longer have a website. And I’ll keep experimenting with my writing in various forms, and we’ll see where life takes me.
I’m probably going to change my name. This is nothing against you guys; it’s just that calling yourself “Mastercougar” is a completely different thing in 2011 than it was in 2004. (Have you noticed that? ) Colloquial language evolves, as I once discovered when trying to give out my email address. My new internet alias is going to be Daidalos. You’re pretty much guaranteed to find me using it, or some derivation like Daidalos42.
It’s been a pleasure to have such an awesome, fun group of readers as you. I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me all this time, and I do consider you my friends. If you’d like to keep in touch with me, you’re more than welcome. I will still be checking my PMs on Serebii, and passing through the FanComics forum from time to time.
Also, I will answer any question you like about Reporterz, its planned ending, or anything else you’d like to know. (In spoiler tags, since I still might use some of this stuff someday.) Only if you want me to, though. Otherwise, I’ll keep mum.
One last thing before I go. You might very well ask what the implications of this are for the Serebii FanComics forum, especially since things have been lethargic there lately, and I’m pretty much the last holdout from the old days. Does this mean the forum’s dead? I don’t think so. There will always be a place for comics and the stories they tell, whether “this generation” of comic-makers is there to witness it or not. There are already some promising new threads in the forum, and we could easily see a renaissance one day. Maybe it’ll start tomorrow. Maybe in 2014 when Generation 6 begins. Who knows? Either way, I have no fears about a forum so full of creativity and fun, and it’s been a wonderful place to spend such a great part of my life.
Thanks for everything,
~Mastercougar
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking over the future of Reporterz. Months and months, in fact. You may have noticed I’ve stopped updating, which has been part of this process for me. I reached a point where I couldn’t move forward until I came to a conclusion.
Here’s the conclusion I’ve come to:
Reporterz is not going to continue.
I want to be honest about that with you, rather than letting the comic vanish into the ether as so many do. I want you to know what’s been going on. It would be callous of me to leave my readers and longtime friends in the dark.
I know I’ve made a lot of posts and threads in the past about how I’ve come to “a new realization of my devotion to the comic,” a “new burst of self-confidence” or whatnot, etcetera. And those were all real and from the heart. I wasn’t faking. Those were real insights about myself that I came to over the last year or so, and I was glad to share them with you.
The thing is, though, the real problem wasn’t simply a lack of self-confidence. The truth is, on some level, the comic wasn’t working.
Don’t get me wrong. I was doing good work, and telling the story well. But the simple truth is that a sprite comic wasn’t the best way to tell it. I’m a word man, first and foremost, not an artist or spriter. more and more, it became clear to me that my words were bursting at the seams of the panels, trying to get out. Meanwhile, my sprites were passable, but they didn’t give my characters the dignity they deserved. They didn’t match up with who I really imagined them to be.
You see, year after year, I revised my plans for Reporterz, each time, saying: “This is so much better!” And it was true. Each was a vast improvement over the last, leading to realer characters, more gripping narrative, and more intense and brilliant plot. A truer, better story in every way. Eventually, though, I reached the point where Reporterz was more than a silly Pokémon comic I was doing for the hell of it. It became a grand dream, a vision full of ideas and inventions and flavored with my own soul.
And that’s fine. It’s great to have visions and ambitions. They make up who I am. The problem is, what do you do to make your story’s future high, exquisite art when its past is a silly ramble composed by a middle-schooler? I had some really lovely plans for the future, but in a sense they didn’t fit with the silliness already established. I began to feel like the past was constantly chasing me, that every time I laid down a brick of story it dissolved into mush the next time I looked at it. It was maddening.
And I hated my work, at least in part and I hated that I hated my work, and I hated that I didn’t know what to do about it. And I didn’t know what to do about it because I didn’t see that it wasn’t working.
And the future I wanted to accomplish was so far away, and so huge. I still feel like I barely got off the ground with Reporterz, and in a sense that’s true, because there was simply so much that had to happen before it became what I wanted it to be, before it became more than a kid’s scribbling. It began to feel like a nightmare: how long would I be working on this project? It began to feel like I was running out of time.
And the need, the obsession with working on it was beginning to eat up my life. I pulled back, thankfully, when I realized that I was freaking out unhealthily. But I still didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to be working on those final pages, so that I could wrap up the lives of my characters and move on with my own. And there were so many stories I still wanted to tell, other, completely different stories, and I began to fear that they would never be told.
I don’t know if any of that makes sense to you, but I realized, gradually, that what those ideas, what those brilliant, awesome, wonderful ideas needed was a different stage to take place. Preferably a written one. I don’t mean to self-deprecate, but as I said, I’m not a comic-maker. Not in the way I wanted to be. And I was tired of the nagging worries of sprite-comics, the fears about copyright and Comic Genesis and being mocked by other webcomic artists. (Heed my advice: Trying to make a sprite comic into High Art is an insane proposition. I wouldn’t recommend it.) I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to concentrate on the beautiful purity of words alone, what I really know how to do, and leave all that behind.
Reporterz will influence my future writings in some fashion. That I can guarantee. It might even be reborn, in a way, because there’s so much I really like about it, especially the stuff I had planned. But I need to take some time to figure out how that might happen. But as Reporterz, as this comic strip, it is definitely over. And many of my ideas will be lost, and much will be gone forever.
And it’s a hellish thing to tell you that the comic is over. I don’t want to tell you guys that. I never wanted to be “that guy,” who says, “I don’t want to work on the thing I used to love.” I lamented Crash and Bass’s aborted epic future. I mourned the Cataclysm movies that Dave Anez never made. And I swore I wouldn’t be like them.
So this was a hard thing for me to come to. I spent about three months, simply trying to decide: continue or not? I weighed the pros and cons. I knew I was on the cusp of some revelation, but I was terrified to find out the answer. Finally, one day, ending the comic made sense to me. And that knowledge hit me like a ton of bricks, but slowly, I came to the conclusion I had to accept it. The hard part was figuring out how I was going to tell you guys.
So, here we are. Ultimately, I had to give myself the freedom to change, and I hope you can forgive me for that. But I know, without a doubt, it’s been the right choice. I’m freed from so many things, most especially constant frustration with my 13-year old self. I’m better off without that random anger and constant worry. And I’m still grieving, for the end of a relationship that lasted six years and brought me a lot of joy. There’s so much that’s never going to be told, and I’ll always miss that. But I think that this is what’s best for both Author and characters. I’d say we’re parting on good terms. And I’m more at peace with myself than I’ve been for a long time.
What’s next? Well, there’s no way in heaven or earth that I’ll stop writing. But it may take me a long time to return to this particular story. I have to be able to do these ideas and these characters justice, and right now I don’t know what form that’ll take. While I think prose is absolutely the best medium for me to turn to right now, much of Reporterz was wrapped up in the sprite comic format. I need to take some time—a long time, possibly—to figure out what might stay, what might go. I need time to process how I feel, here at the end of all things.
So, right now, I’m working on a handful of other projects. I’ve started writing a novel set in the Pokémon world, based on an idea I’ve wanted to write for a long, long time, and I intend to see that to fruition. Sooner or later I’ll start posting it on Serebii; watch this space for a link. I’ve also got a blog now, which has not really gotten off the ground yet, but may come in useful sooner or later. At the very least, I can make it a hub for my new projects, since I no longer have a website. And I’ll keep experimenting with my writing in various forms, and we’ll see where life takes me.
I’m probably going to change my name. This is nothing against you guys; it’s just that calling yourself “Mastercougar” is a completely different thing in 2011 than it was in 2004. (Have you noticed that? ) Colloquial language evolves, as I once discovered when trying to give out my email address. My new internet alias is going to be Daidalos. You’re pretty much guaranteed to find me using it, or some derivation like Daidalos42.
It’s been a pleasure to have such an awesome, fun group of readers as you. I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me all this time, and I do consider you my friends. If you’d like to keep in touch with me, you’re more than welcome. I will still be checking my PMs on Serebii, and passing through the FanComics forum from time to time.
Also, I will answer any question you like about Reporterz, its planned ending, or anything else you’d like to know. (In spoiler tags, since I still might use some of this stuff someday.) Only if you want me to, though. Otherwise, I’ll keep mum.
One last thing before I go. You might very well ask what the implications of this are for the Serebii FanComics forum, especially since things have been lethargic there lately, and I’m pretty much the last holdout from the old days. Does this mean the forum’s dead? I don’t think so. There will always be a place for comics and the stories they tell, whether “this generation” of comic-makers is there to witness it or not. There are already some promising new threads in the forum, and we could easily see a renaissance one day. Maybe it’ll start tomorrow. Maybe in 2014 when Generation 6 begins. Who knows? Either way, I have no fears about a forum so full of creativity and fun, and it’s been a wonderful place to spend such a great part of my life.
Thanks for everything,
~Mastercougar